Dead man’s goal- What is it & how do I avoid it?
We are about to enter into a new year. For some of us that means reflecting on the goals we set earlier this year, and setting new goals for the new year. Many would have achieved, some, the majority, or all of their goals. But for others sometimes it can feel like an endless cycle of setting goals that are difficult to follow through. So let’s look at strategies to hold in mind when setting any goals for this new year.
In psychology we use the term “dead man’s goal”. This is used to describe a goal that is simply just difficult to achieve. A goal that a dead person could achieve better than you. So what does that mean if you are setting a “dead man’s goal” it is considered to be setting yourself up to fail before you’ve even started. Setting a dead man’s goal is guaranteed failure and when you fail you will start to feel terrible and every negative emotion starts flooding your brain after constant failure.
So what does that kind of goal look like? These kind of goals are always worded as something you would like to stop doing. These goals are often always worded in the negative. For example setting goals such as;
• Not be anxious
• Spend less time on my phone.
• Eat less junk food
• Not feel depressed
•Not go on social media when I wake up
All of these goals are considered a dead man’s goal because a dead person would be able to achieve them better than you or just as well as you. Also you might notice that these goals are not very motivating and motivation is key to actually getting up and doing what you said you would do. So what would a more effective goal look like?
Instead of setting a goal to not be anxious, or be less anxious your goal should be; "I will do one thing that I am afraid of". Feel free to make it more specific and say that that thing is.
Spend less time on my phone; “I will prioritise all important tasks before going on my phone."
Eat less junk food “ Eat at least 3 meals with fruits and vegetables everyday.
Not feel depressed; Do something active that I enjoy everyday.
Not go on social media when I wake up; Read a book or do devotion when I wake up.
These are a few examples of how you can turn your goals around. Now that we have goals that are effective, we can make sure they are even more effective by making them SMART goals. There are many different versions of SMART goals. But what are SMART goals for us?
This means making sure your goal is:
Specific: For example we don’t want a goal that states “I will exercise more” a more specific goal would be “I will do 1 home workout for 30 min every other day”
Meaningful: Think about if this goal you are setting is in line with your values and will bring meaning to your life.
Adaptive: Is this goal helping you to become the version of yourself that you want to be? Does it enrich your life and lead you to where you intend to be?
Realistic: Is this goal realistic for you to achieve in the time frame you’ve set your self. Talking into consideration the time you have, other priorities, financial situation etc.
Time frame: Set a realistic date, time, and day for each goal to help hold yourself accountable.
Now you can set goals that motivate, energises you and brings you meaning. These strategies helps to organises behaviours which produces the best results and maximises growth.
Lastly, it is important to remember although setting goals are important and helps to organise us. There are things that are out of our control and it is essential to give yourself GRACE. Give yourself grace and know that mistakes happen, set backs do happen and things might not always work out the way you intend it to. So, as you go off to set these goals for the new year, don’t forget what’s most important. Giving yourself grace.
Scriptures for encouragement
“But as for you, be strong and courageous, for your work will be rewarded.””
2 Chronicles 15:7
“Good planning and hard work lead to prosperity, but hasty shortcuts lead to poverty.”
Proverbs 21:5
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.”
Proverbs 3:5-6